Tuesday, September 2, 2014

3G Brazilian Banditos Robbing Timmies

O Canada  and Timmies Fans
  Beware - Attention!
         Fox Putin and Some of His 3G Brazilian Buddies of the BRICS

         Are Coming to #Canada - To Steal Canada’s $$$ Doughnuts - Timmies

How - You Ask?
Can Fox Putin Steal from Canada?

Simple Economics Dear Watson!
The 3 Brazilian Banditos of 3G Capital, a Private Equity Firm (read economic robbers)
 are using their Brazil BRICS financial base to
buy with hedge fund paper - Canada’s beloved Tim Hortons

Here’s How It May Work Out
Unless we - O Canada and Timmies Fans 
Stand on Guard for Canada - Now!

 The 3 Brazilian Banditos of 3G Capital are senhors;
Carlos da Veiga Sicupira, Jorge Paulo Lemann and Marcel Herrmann Telles

They have been Brazil's Bandito Buddies for over 40 years
They're worth some $45,000,000,000 according to the Michael Bloomberg news hounds
Bandito Uno - Lemann supposedly is Brazil’s richest man at $ 24+ billion

They have already #SAVED for their Private Equity Firm (read economically robbed)
 Anheuser-Busch (the beer people of St Louis) in 2008

Burger King (the ‘have it your way’ burger people of sunny Miami) in 2010

H J Heinz (the ketchup people of Pittsburg) in 2013

So now the 3G Banditos are graciously offering to SAVE Tim Hortons
By merging the struggling Burger King with Tim Hortons
(Read we will give you our rubbish shares for your doughnut shares)
Plus - We will  SAVE taxes by moving our 3G Capital headquarters to Canada
(Read we steal jobs and tax dollars from the United States of America)

Plus - We will offer all you Timmies customers and fans - Global Scale Economics
(Read your coffee and doughnut prices will pay for the global mistakes of others)

Plus - We’re expert relentless cost-cutters
(Read goodbye Canadian jobs, creativity and initiative)

If you do not believe Michael Bloombergs news hounds 
or the Toronto Star or little old me, Prophet hendrickus?

Tweet exBurger King, Bush or Heinz people 
as to the horrors of cost cutting they went through!

David Welch of Bloomberg says 
the 3G Brazilian Banditos micro-manage costs everywhere
Some examples of strategic cost cutting moves by the 3G Banditos

At Heinz - 3G limited office supplies per employee to $15 per month + 
Eliminate mini-refrigerators to save electricity
At Burger King - 3G told execs to use Skype instead of long distance telephone 
Email their documents and No more FedEx
At Anheuser Bush - the ultimate beer-executive insult no more free beer!

Now, this author has been a Fortune 500 executive himself in his younger days
Judicious trimming of corporate fat is good!
However, strategic micro-management destroys employee morale + performance!

If Ken Harris of Chicagos Cadent Consulting Group 
is any kind of prophet 
Look out Tim Hortons 
Customers, Fans, Staff, Suppliers and Government Tax Collectors!

Harris said, “These guys (read the 3G Banditos + their Buddies) 
will change consumer goods and food service forever 

Other CEOs know it!
They are going to go in and streamline everything as fast as possible 
When Tim Hortons management meet their new Brazilian overlords at 3G
They will have no idea what hit them"

One Timmies Fan in Toronto who visits her Timmies everyday, 
Miriam, "a donut experthas the right gut feeling
(Your gut-feeling is sometimes called the Voice of God)

I do not like it! I guess it’s for tax purposes (amen + a lot more greed to come)
I do not always understand the economic side of it she said,
But it (Tim Hortons) would become like Starbucks I think.
I will probably go more often to Second Cup 
So ... O Canada and Timmies Fans Beware - Attention!
Vote Now with your money! 
Before It Is Too Late!
No More Foreign Banditos in Canada!
We have enough foreign bandits already 
Here’s How You Vote - If You Want Your Timmies
Canada’s Way and God’s Way!

1 Let’s have a TALK-WAVE from St. John’s to Victoria + Nunavut to New Brunswick
Tell your favourite Timmies folks at their 3500 Canadian outlets
 That if they give away our O Canada Timmies to the 3G Brazilian Banditos
We will all go to Second Cup until they get it back!
Vote with your money! Bandits understand that kind of vote

2  If Tim Hortons Management, including its new CEO Marc Caira,
continue to talk to the 3G Capital Banditos + 
their activist hedge fund Buddies
We will ask our "Conserve It" Prime Minister Harper 
To nationalize Timmies for one year!

And if he will not act 
Since Toronto’s Ford-brothers may be out of a job in October
We will ask the FordBros to use their family wealth + 
A few of their Billionaire Buddies Moolah
To buy Timmies and Keep it Canadian for Canadians by Canadians!

3 When all that fails - Perhaps you should do this first and keep it up 
Ask the best franchiser of all - Father God
To keep Timmies and our dough (read money) in his blessed O Canada

The Choice is Yours!
                               Talk + Pray + Pay Now
                        or Pay the 3G Brazilian Banditos  
                             Mucho Dinheiros - Later!

O Canada We Stand On Guard for Thee
            (are you standing with us in the we?)
God keep our land glorious and free!